Artex Monkey

Need an alternative to today's Indie bands?
Visit the latest sensation's website, click on the link in the header....

Just plain Stoopid....

A Malaysian man is bidding for a place in the record books after kissing a king cobra 51 times in three minutes. Shahimi Abdul Hamid kissed the deadly snake before an audience at a hotel in the Genting Highlands.




The snake farm supervisor used his agility to avoid being bitten by the 15ft cobra, reports the Star newspaper.
Shahimi, 33, said: "Malaysians should know that if one has sufficient knowledge of reptiles, there would be no problem in dealing with them."
An expert from the University of Malaya certified the snake as venomous.

Race for the title hots up....

I know what you are thinking, "Chelsea are miles in front, how can the title race be hotting up?". Well obviously i don't mean that race, i mean the real one....
The race for who will win the Vodafone Project 38 Fantasy Premier League Title. As gameweek 30 approaches (later today) my team FC FELGERCARB sit's in second place in the league, a mere 16 points behind the leaders. After a dissapointing week 29 (59 points) I could really do with my boys getting back into the form they showed during February when they sat proudly in first place. Team changes for the coming week include Thierry Henry coming in for the out of favour Ruud Van Nistelrooy and Kuqi dropping to the bench in an otherwise unchanged 4-4-2 formation.

The Stone Roses @ Lincoln Drill Hall

Went to see "The Stone Roses Experience" at the Drill Hall in Lincoln last night.
This is probably the closest you can get to a Roses gig until Ian and John start talking again....with the band members already being joind onstage previously by Mani and reconstructing scenes for the documentry into the rise and fall of the Roses - "Blood on the Turntable". The band played all of the big song's in an impressive set, you could tell that they were passionate about the music and not just out to make money. As a guitarist, i found myself paying particular attention to the Guitarist, who was phenomenal, every bit "John Squire". I would definately recommend any Roses fan go and see this band....
The band ran through most of the classic Roses songs, from the first album and even threw in Ten Storey Love Song from the much maligned Second Coming album. All were seamless and executed brilliantly, the Drill Hall is an intimate venue, allowing the band to personalize their set.

MONKEY MAN SAYS....

MONKEY MAN SAYS....

The continuing adventures of "Monkey Man"....

Come and visit the site @

http://monkeymansays.blogspot.com/

It's evolution in reverse

Boy, 12, sticks gum on £850,000 painting!

Here is a good one to start the week off with....

A 12-year-old boy on a school trip to a US museum stuck a piece of chewing gum to a valuable painting. The boy damaged Helen Frankenthaler's The Bay, one of the Detroit Institute of Arts' most important modern paintings. The picture, acquired by the DIA in 1965 and worth an estimated £850,000, is expected to make a full recovery, reports the Detroit Free Press.
Julie Kildee, director of the Holly Academy, where the boy is a pupil, said he had been suspended and that his parents had also taken disciplinary action.
"Even though we give very strict guidelines on proper behaviour and we hold students to high standards, he is only 12 and I don't think he understood the ramifications of what he did before it happened, but he certainly understands the severity of it now," said Kildee.
Becky Hart, assistant curator of contemporary art, said experts were researching the exact chemicals in the gum to determine which solvent should be used to clean the painting.
"I'm always thankful that it was not worse," Hart said. "In the scheme of things, this is upsetting, and it will make us review our policies. But we're confident that the painting will be OK."

Sean Paul talks bollocks!

If you fancy a laff, try to read and say out loud the "lyrics" to Sean Paul's Songs....
I guarantee you will sound like Ja Ja Binks

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/sean-paul/

Royton's Jack Wild Dies....

Oliver! star Jack Wild dies at 53
Jack Wild was diagnosed with mouth cancer in 2000Actor Jack Wild, who played The Artful Dodger in 1968 film Oliver!, has died at the age of 53. Wild was nominated for an Oscar when he was just 16 for his role in the movie. He suffered from mouth cancer and had his voice box and tongue removed. Wild's agent Alex Jay said the actor "died peacefully at midnight last night after a long battle with oral cancer". He lost his voice three years ago and communicated through his wife after surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Wild recently said: "Until I was diagnosed with mouth cancer, I'd never heard of it. Wild was nominated for an Oscar for his role in Oliver!"What I learned very quickly was that my lifestyle had made me a walking time bomb. "I was a heavy smoker and an even heavier drinker and apparently together they are a deadly mixture."
The former child star from Royton, near Oldham, made his TV debut aged 13.
He had a string of screen credits when he was chosen to star as the pickpocketing urchin in the musical adaptation of Charles Dickens' Oliver! The role saw him appear alongside Oliver Reed and Harry Secombe in one of the final films to be directed by British movie legend Carol Reed.

The place not to be seen in....

A new restaurant where diners eat in pitch black darkness has opened in London.
Customers at Dans Le Noir have no idea what they are eating, reports the Daily Telegraph.
The idea, based on a successful restaurant in Paris, is that not being able to see what you're eating heightens the senses and liberates the taste buds. All needs are catered for by partly-sighted or blind waiters, who serve the food and wine, guide you to your table and to the lavatory. Anything that might shatter the blackness, such as a mobile phone display or burning cigarette, is forbidden. "It is a sensual feast," said Edouard De Broglie, the 43-year-old French entrepreneur behind the £800,000 venture in Clerkenwell. "Your other senses are awakened by the dark. Your nose, fingers, ears make you face the reality of the taste of the food.
"You are sitting by people you don't know. You don't judge them by your first sight. You talk to them more in the dark, then you find out what they look like later."